UNDERSEA APOCALYPSE THREE: RISE OF THE CEPHALOPEOPLE
by xIrelandx
Summary: (the title's misleading shhh just go with it) Apollo sucks at dating, but maybe that's because he's always gone after the wrong sort of person. Phoenix/Apollo and Juniper/Athena. I'm new to this fandom please don't kill me.


Apollo clearly was just not cut out for dating. He didn't even know why he'd agreed to go out with Juniper. Yeah, she was nice and everything. He just wasn't... Interested. _There must be something wrong with me_, he reasoned. _Juniper's kind, intelligent, and very pretty. I must be some sort of sick to not be into her_. "Oh well, maybe we can just be friends?" he asked no one.

His hand dived into his pocket and he sighed, cursing himself and his cowardice. Athena would kill him if she ever found out, but he'd decided to leave all his stuff at the Agency in the event that he needed to escape the date early. Maybe he should have - it's not that the date was horrid, but it was far from brilliant. Both he and Juniper were too nervous to get much talking out of the way, and when the date was over she just waved to say goodbye. He felt like an ass for not chasing after her, but what would he have said or done if he did? He didn't want to kiss her or lead her on. He couldn't very well say he wanted to 'do this again,' because that would be lying. Lying was so very much not in his jurisdiction. (Well, he probably could feign interest, if he wanted to, but there was no reason for him to lie to Juniper.)

He'd mused on his idiocy all the way back to the office, unlocking the door to the Agency and walking in. He punctuated every stomp of his foot with a muttered '_stupid._'

"'Pollo?" Apollo froze. He had not expected anybody to still be in the office.

"H-Hey, Mr. Wright," he stuttered back. Wright looked tired and disshevelled. Was he waiting for me to come back? Apollo wondered.

Wright stumbled a bit, trying to make it to the door. Apollo met him halfway, and propped him up a bit on his shoulder. He was starting to get worried. "How'd your date with Junie go?"

Apollo's face scrunched and he promptly dropped Mr. Wright onto the nearest couch. "Mr. Wright, are you - are you drunk?"

"Maybe a lil' bit," he replied, wavering in his seat. He was staring, wide-eyed and intent, at Apollo. Apollo would have found it unnerving, if his boss was at all sober - Hell, as it was, his stomach was doing interesting gymnastics he hadn't felt since the first time they met, and his heart only fluttered that much when he was being praised -

_By Mr. Wright_, his mind concluded.

Apollo flinched. _Oh, so _that's _what's wrong with me, why I can't seem to develop feelings for Juniper_. Apollo shook his head lightly. He could think about that later - after he took care of his boss. (Or, you know, never.)

"Mr. Wright -"

"Phoenix."

Apollo blinked. "Wh - What?"

"M' name's Phoenix."

"I - I know that."

"So call me by it."

Apollo sat down slowly. "Okay, Mr - Phoenix, but just for now." Phoenix pouted. Apollo wanted to laugh, and do a million other inappropriate things. It was a good thing he was used to restraining himself. "You're drunk and you might not like it in the morning."

Phoenix shook his head. Apollo jumped as he felt the older man wrap an arm around his shoulders. "Been wantin' you t' call me Phoenix for a while now," he slurred. "But you get flustered if I talk t' you directly. You're so cute when you're nervous." He bopped Apollo lightly on the nose with his pointer finger, and started laughing when Apollo gasped and began to blink rapidly. "Yeah, jus' like that."

Apollo tried to reign in the blush he felt spreading over his cheeks. He let his eyes shut, and tried to imagine that he was somewhere else. Somewhere more relaxing. Somewhere more remote.

"Phoenix," he said calmly, "I think we should get you to bed."

"Good idea!" the other replied, overly loudly. Phoenix kissed Apollo clumsily on the cheek and removed his left arm from Apollo's shoulders. Apollo was frozen. "G'night, Polly!" Phoenix cried cheerfully, and laid himself down across the couch. His head, of course, rested in Apollo's lap.

Apollo had seen the way alcohol worked on people. Now that Mr. Wright was out, there was no gettng him up. Apollo covered his eyes with his hands, wondering how he always managed to get himself into these sorts of situations.

* * *

Athena was nothing if not exuberant, impatient, and intense. Juniper wasn't at all surprised to find her long-time friend waiting in her house when she returned home from her date with Apollo.

"How did it go?" Athena was practically vibrating with nervous energy, although Junie could hardly understand why. She wasn't the one who just went on the world's most awkward date.

"Uhm, it -" she coughed, "It was okay, I guess."

"You guess?" Oh, no, Thena's going to go overboard. "Why? Did Apollo do something mean?" Athena's fist rammed into her open palm. "I'm gonna tear those stupid bangs off his head!"

"N- No! Thena! Calm down!" Athena was still resonating anger, but Junie detected that her temper had calmed down by a lot. "It's just - I was, I was nervous. I think... I think we both were." Juniper held her breath, hoping her friend would believe what she said.

Athena tilted her head, hands on her hips. "Huh... well, that does sound like Apollo. And you!" she smiled brightly. "Well, that's what second dates are for, right?"

"Well - yes, I... I suppose so." Juniper let Athena drag her through to her bedroom to talk about... what? Boys? Clothes? Nail polish? Neither one of them had ever been that type, but Athena was distracted, chattering on about every romance-related topic she could think of. It would've driven Junie crazy, if she'd been at all paying attention. Instead, her mind was a million miles away, trying to figure out how to tell Athena that she just wasn't interested in seeing Apollo again - but in a way that wouldn't leave either of them feeling disappointed.


End file.
